Hangry Roxie Update #7

After falling off the wagon during the holidays, I have spent the better part of January starving myself of sugar and carbs and only losing a few pounds here and there.

On January 28th I gave myself a real goal. I want to lose 20lbs by my birthday, which is March 28th. That will put me at loosing a little over 40lbs, which sounds much better than the 24 that I have currently lost.

Now, with the new strict diet I am doing PAIRED with the gym I really believe it is possible.

(Or at least it should be!)

Like I previously stated, I haven't seen the results I want so this week I am starting the Military Diet.

It says you should shed about ten pounds in 3 days, and I am curious to see if it actually works and if so I plan on repeating it about ever other week. I have read a lot of testimonials and seen quite a bit of people do this and lose some major weight.

Day1: Strangely, I haven't been super hungry, but I have had a massive headache all day.

I am curious to see how I feel tomorrow, though and if I have shed any weight!

Stay tuned!



Hangry Roxie UPDATE #4

Gym Day #3

I woke up late and sore and texted Belinda to let her know I couldn't make it. To say my arms were sore would be an understatement. The only way I could brush my teeth was by laying the toothbrush on the counter and moving my head back and forth and driving was ok as long as I didn't try to steer or stop.

Belinda wasn't very understanding and refuse to take no for an answer. So.... I drank a whole pot of coffee and finally arrived at the gym at about 6am. It really wasn't my fault though, it took me that long to bend down and tie my shoes. But it was my lucky day! Leg day! "Yay" -said no one ever! The only positive for this day was the fact that we were the only ones in the gym. Belinda said it is because we are "gym rats" now. She said this is our life.

I'm not going into details about this day, partly because I don't want to relive any part of it, but I would like to make note of the new word I invented: 'Terriful". It's pretty much the only thing I could mumble while I was curled in the fetal position in pain on the floor after our workout. I'm pretty sure its a cross between terrible and terrifying.

Fast-forward- day 4:

I pulled into the gym parking lot and it was lit up like a Christmas tree! There were cars EVERYWHERE. It was like they were just sitting in their cars waiting for me to show up so they could laugh and make fun of me. I almost did a u turn.

First, can I just tell you how much I am enjoying this Jamie Eason 12 week Transformation that Belinda is forcing me against my will to  do? Today, my friend Tiffani joined us. (That was the only positive of the day) It was a charming workout. Jamie made me lie on my back and do crunches all while balancing on a big giant bouncy ball. We also did the stupidest workout ever, we rode an air bicycle while lying on our back AND trying to do crunches AT THE SAME TIME. I don't know who invented this but Id like to talk to them about gravity, gas, and pressure...... but, other than that it was GREAT. Its a whole new life for me. If you're not totally jealous of my life right now there is something wrong with you.

BUT, despite all the fun exercises and the mullet guy in flip flops and swim trunks drinking a big gulp slush, leg day really started to make me second guess my new lifestyle. I mean, nice abs and a healthy heart are cool and all but, have you ever tried stuffed crust pizza?!

Which reminds me, a lot of people have been asking me what kind of diet I am doing. Right now, I'm basically just focusing on cutting out carbs, and sugar- pretty much everything that makes me happy.

Man, I'm SO GLAD Belinda told me about this Jamie Eason chick so I can get in shape and enjoy life, because if I remember correctly, sleeping and pizza are no fun at all.......

Hangry Roxie UPDATE #3

I'm not even kidding when I say this was not planned:

But I guess when you've spent your entire 2 day gym life with the same person, stuff like this happens.

Today was probably the hardest workout day thus far. 

I found myself in mid-workout asking my workout partner where the nearest breakfast buffet was.

We also both found ourselves injured.

Have you ever seen this machine?

Ya'll that pull down bar thing right there.... is HEAVY.

And, just for your own safety...

I'm going to inform you that once it is dangling above your head you should NEVER, EVER pull the little rod out to change the weight, because the super heavy bar will come crashing down onto your back!

Or your head- hey, just FYI since my workout partner, Belinda, didn't get the memo after the thing took out my back and laid me out on the floor. 

I'm no nurse, but I'm pretty sure I have a herniated disc and she may have had a minor concussion. 

For the most part, we have been grateful that for majority of our early morning workouts  there have been no one else in the gym, however, this time I would have been thankful for a nurse. 

Have you ever been in so much pain, but couldn't stop laughing?!



After this workout I was pretty sore from head to toe, but that didn't stop me from coming home and slaying breakfast:

Homemade oat bowls stuffed with yogurt and fruit and a southwestern omelet with fresh cilantro and pico! 

Hangry Roxie UPDATE # 2

The Gym... man, I hate him and my friend Belinda.

 

Friday was my first official day to step foot back in a gym since 7th grade.

 

 

I don't know if I am more mad at my friend, Belinda who talked me into going, or at the fact that it was tri-cept day and I don't have any tricepts.

 

 

Or, the fact that I don't even know how to spell trycepts.

 

 

I'm just having a bad day, okay.

Which, by the way, started out bad because I was up at 5 am GOING TO THE GYM.

 

 

And if that's not enough to make any day terrible, add in the fact that I almost lost a pinky-toe when I picked up a weight thingy.

I should of known that lifting anything heavier that a sandwich was a bad idea.

 

 

Fast forward: To 3pm and I at work and my arms were use-less.

 

 

Like, numb...

 

 

They just dangle at my sides.

 

 

 

I'm wondering if this is pay-back for lying to the life insurance guy about my weight...

 

 

 

Either way,  I'm never hanging out with Belinda again, unless she is planning something super fun like a root canal.

 

 

 

 

I will say, Belinda was a super encouraging friend, although my gut was in serious pain from holding it in the whole time BECAUSE THERE WERE OTHER WEIRD PEOPLE WHO THOUGHT IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO FACE-DEATH AT 5 AM.

 

This was FANTASTIC idea.....

Hangry Roxie UPDATE #1

Hi, I am Roxie and  I am a former
 self-proclaimed donutatarian who vowed to stop yo-yo dieting and get healthy.



And by healthy, I mean get down to at least what I told the DMV I weigh.



As most of my Facebook friends know, I have recently started eating healthy and working out.




I've always had a weight problem and I've always tried diets which consisted of:

Yogurt for Breakfast

A salad for lunch.

And I'm all like... I've been dieting all morning, am I skinny yet?!

And then I get home and eat the entire kitchen.

Ya'll, diets are hard and I get so tired of hearing people say they aren't.

They're all like.... its just like riding a bike, its easy.

And I'm all like.. yeah riding a bike that's on fire!

When the ground is on FIRE!

And everything is on FIRE BECAUSE IT FEELS LIKE I'M IN HELL.

So, I usually just give up.

And then head to Jack-N-the Box and order 3

 egg rolls, a large coke, and curly fries because I am going to just start over next Monday because that diet was the worst 4 hours of my life!

And then Monday comes along and I forget that I'm starting a diet and eat two breakfast tacos. But, I'm not even mad because I will just start next Monday. Because you have to start on a Monday.

But, no more!


This is the new me!

And, I figured since the new me has been continuously eating healthy and all for, like two weeks now and working out for two whole days, that I should document my results. 

To my four loyal readers: YOU AREN'T GOING TO BELIEVE THIS.

Guys, I am down 4lbs and that was just in week one!

Despite being continuously hangry, its been relatively easy.

The only thing I'm having trouble with is drinking water.

Ya'll the problem is I HATE WATER.

And pizza is 100% not water.

It's strange how drinking 8 glasses of water a day seems impossible but a large coke, 10 piece nugget, and large fries goes down like a chubby kid on a see-saw!






And my kids are even seeing a difference! Just yesterday my 9 year old son asked me why were keeping our live plants in the fridge now.




So I tried explaining to him that we are eating more veggies and why...

I told him a whole spill about taking care of your body and that our body is a temple...

He then informed me that my body didn't really look like a temple.

In fact, he informed me it resembled a bouncy house.

Oh my gosh, if that's not motivation enough I don't know what is!