UIL

This year both CJ and Rilyn were invited to try out for UIL teams.

We are in week two of practice and its safe to say both kids have strong potential.

Yesterday when I picked up CJ from Story Telling Practice I was informed by his coach that he is "too good."

I believe her exact words were, "Hi, Mrs. Long. CJ is doing great! Actually, he is too good," she said laughing, nervously.

"Here is a copy of the story we practiced," she added.

"When he practiced reciting it back to the class, CJ added  a little too much enthusiasm, he added that the little boy ran out of his house naked.... and ran around the block. And as you can see that clearly was not apart of the story." she said.

"So, we are working with him to tone it down a bit..." she added, "but like I said, he is doing GREAT!"

And just as my van door closed, I shoot CJ "the look".

"Dude, Mom, I so knew that was gonna get a reaction out of them. My story was definitely the funniest." he added.

Rilyn is exceeding my expectations, too.

Today when I picked her up she handed me a journal and instructed me to check out the latest story she has been working on. She is trying out for the Ready Writing UIL team.

Five sentences into the story, "Rilyn, this is really good!"

I was legitimately impressed.

"Thanks," she said. " I copied it out of my library book, I'm not finished, though."

I'm going to

hold off a week or two before I order my"UIL MOM" bumper sticker.

Easy Halloween Costumes for Babies and Toddlers

Last year I took advantage of getting to dress up my last baby for his first Halloween. I took items we already had and enjoyed remixing them and dressing him up in (sometimes silly) Halloween costumes.

Enjoy!

Wanted: Full Time Feral Toddler (Permanent Contract)

We are currently looking for a full time ferocious toddler to join our team.

 Job Description:

Job Specification

The ideal candidate will be required to permanently  ride on mama's hip and any movement from this would result in immediate melt-downs. Such candidate should also be proficient in whining, with previous experience in planning and executing public tantrums. Candidate should also be fluent in the art of food refusal. Candidate should also be strong willed and posses a fiery temper.
Nap takers need not apply.

Primary Duties:

-Must be willing to delay all trips from the house by a minimum  of 30 minutes.

-Follow mom to the toilet.

-Demand Bubble Guppies, on repeat.

-Manage the sleep cycle for the whole family.

Hours: Full time. (Distinction between night and day not necessary.)

Contract Permanent. They cant fire you.

***UPDATE***

Luckily this position was filled about 16 months ago and we are happy to say he is fulfilling the job wonderfully.

A trip to the movies. Part 2.

This past Sunday my husband got the joy of attending a soccer game with one of his friends.

I had the luck, pleasure, torture of taking all four kids to a birthday party, all by myself.

And because I had so much fun wrestling four kids on my own, especially the one year old who, I swear doesn't even know his name, and for the life of me, cant grasp the concept of what the word "no" means. I decided to treat the little goblins to a movie instead of going home and relaxing.

They have been dying to see Middle School, Worst Years of my Life.

What was I thinking?

Twenty minutes into the car ride, I began to question why I thought this would be a fun idea. And I learned very quickly, that fun, is a relative term.

While the events that followed was far more fun than getting jabbed by a hot poker, it was considerably less fun than just about anything else.

We arrived at the movies just in time to grab popcorn, nachos, and drinks. Everything surprisingly started off well when Ryker sat quietly in the dark for 10 minutes before the previews started.

The calm before the storm.... I should of known!

The minute the previews started Ryker started pinching me in the face.

He also screamed, arched his back, and tried to wiggle himself out of my lap about the same time he  managed to rip off one of his shoes and throw it in the middle of the isle.

This was also the exact second that CJ announced that he had to go pee so bad he thought he was going to die.

And if that's not enough... my sassy-pants 9 year old is doing everything in her power to  hold on to her convented title of "Little Mama". This included trying to (unsuccessfully) sooth Ryker, scolding Raigen for eating too many nachos, and telling CJ that if he didn't be quiet that he was going to have to sit in the hallway.

"Knock it off!!" I growled.

As it turns out, no amount of intimidation or parental warnings could prevent Ryker from ruining the movie....for me.

The last straw came when I was gathering the diaper bag and my purse  to retreat to my normal movie watching room AKA the ladies room, when all of the sudden he surged at his sisters nachos and screamed.

It was dark and I couldn't tell if he was screaming from getting burned from the cheese or just because she wouldn't give him her nachos.

This kid is rotten, ya'll.

And if this is a sign of whats ahead with this child..... I am in serious trouble.

Ryker and I ended up camping out in the hallway of the movie theatre. I handed him a bag of goldfish and my cell phone and I sat in the corner and cried.

Sometime about an hour later my other kids returned, smiling, "that movie was awesome!" they shrieked.

"Yay.. so happy for you." I mumbled.

In the end, despite my obvious signs of Post-Traumatic Stress Syndrome, my kids said they loved the movie and that I am the best mom they've ever had, so I guess that's a win. Sort of .




Here is part one, in case you missed that delightful story.

First Grade Problems

I always thought I wanted to raise my kids to know that they can come to me and talk to me about anything.

Until Raigen...

The problem is Raigen is too honest!

Yes, I said too honest.

She tells me eveeeerything.

It. Drives. Me. Nutts.

Lately when her sentences start with, "Momma I need to talk to you...."

My respose is, "Raigen, this better be legit."

With this kid I've learned that sometimes Moms just don't need to know everything.

Like, I don't need her to come to me crying and  tell me that she is sorry she thought about hitting her brother when he was picking on her.

or

That she's sorry that she said "hello" kind of slowly and she thinks it may have sounded like she said a bad word, but she didn't.

or

That she is sorry she didn't actually go right to sleep, that she just laid there with her eyes closed when I got on to she and her sister last night for talking and not going to bed.

Sometimes I just want to tell her that she is not allowed to tell me things anymore, but then there are times, like this weekend, when I immediately pray and thank God for my little tattle-telling-Raigen.

"Hey, Momma..... I need to tell you a secret." Raigen whispered in my ear, "can we go in your room?"

"Sure, " I said. I noticed her tearing up so I knew this was legit.

We headed into my room and sat down on the bed and she says, " Mom, my friend does bad stuff, but I still want to be her friend."

"What does she do?" I asked, worried.

"She's a cutter,"  she replied, and immediately started crying.

"A what?!" I gasped.

My immediately thought was, a first grader is cutting?!

My next thought was, I am homeschooling.

No, wait! Isn't Stella in first grade, too?

Maybe I can get her in Schmidt Elementary!

After that I asked her how she found out her friend was a cutter.

At this point shes still crying and I am hugging her thanking Jesus that my sweet Raigen tells me everything!

And she replies, "cause I seen her! She cut in front of me in line!"

Now... I don't know if I was more relieved or mad... but either way, I started laughing, profusely, and told her to dry it up and get out of my room before I whooped her for scaring me like that!!!

My Short Lived Rap Career

Recently we've discovered our oldest son, CJ (age 8) loves rap.

And I'm ecstatic because we now actually have something (other than our love for Chinese buffets) in common.

The first week of school he was pumped to show us the rap he made up on the playground when he battled a fellow 3rd grader in a "rap-off". 

We had so much fun listening to his six-word battle-winning rap, that I decided to help him, cause clearly the kids going places, I mean, his rap included the words: Rap, Clap, and Tap.

Genius, I know.

So it was then I decided that we (CJ and I) would have daily "rap-offs" in the car on the way home.

CJ was thrilled.

Rilyn.... not so much. 

"That's the dumbest thing, ever!" exclaimed Rilyn, angrily. 

She immediately folded her arms and pouted, "I dont want to listen to yalls stupid raps on the way home everyday!"

It was clearly the end of the world. 

I explained that if she didn't quit throwing a fit, that she would be the subject of our raps.

She didn't believe me so I gave her a preview:

"Rilyn, Rilyn, she aint smilin'

 She throwin' a fit, 

cause I'm about to spit-

a rap, 

make her wanna tap-

Dance- 

look at her glance, 

out the window, 

but she still my friend, doe."

"Okay, okay, stop!! Please!" she exclaimed, giggling, hysterically, "you're so dumb!"

We were half way in to our battle, and I was spitting mad lyrics, stuff like: 

"When I rap they call me Dragon...

Make you wonder what happ-un...

I spit words that make you burn...

On the porch I sit like a fern"

"Dragon? You made that up, no one calls you Dragon!" exclaimed Rilyn.

"Listen, I use to be the queen of rap-offs when I was in school. You have no idea who you are talking to." I informed her.

Everyone giggled.

 

"Yeah, right Mom!" they all yelled.

Flash forward to the next afternoon:

"Hey Mom, you know how you went to school with Mrs. Jones, my SRA teacher? Well I asked her if you use to be the queen of rap-offs and if everyone called you Dragon because you would burn people with your awesome raps and she said you're lying."

"Hold-up! Cut the mic, you did whaaaat?"

I like to think it takes a lot to embarrass me, but listen when I say, my embarrassment meter was FULL.

If you could see my face at this point it  I am sure it was some shade of burgundy.  

And my embarrassment meter completely exploded when two days later I ran into this Mrs. Jones at Walmart and the first thing she asked me, laughing, was "Did he tell you what he asked me?"

Rilyn, five minutes later, "Now THAT was funny! I wish you could of seen the look on your face, Mom!"

And on that note, my rap career is over.

The Secret Life of a Sixteen Month Old

It is Monday, Columbus day.

My mom finally gets a day off.  My mom thought she wanted to sleep till 8. She can't remember the last time she has slept past 7AM. 

She's weird, its 5am, I think I will go ahead and wake her up.

5AM:

Time to start shouting, full throttle. I gotta let everyone know its time to rise n' shine!

Dozed for a bit.

Resumed shouting.

Its hard to tell, but I think my mom is telling my Dad to go make me a bottle, but my Dad isn't moving.

I think something is wrong with my Dads ears.

5:30AM:

Mom carries me down stairs.

My mom always smiles and kisses me. She keeps calling me Stinky-butt.

And guess what?

I have a stinky-butt!!

My mom likes to change my diaper before breakfast, WTH?

So I get mad.

Oh- I forgot, when she makes me mad I like to kick, a lot. And this time I just so happened to have poop on my foot.

 I should call my mom Stinky-shirt now! Ha!

6AM:

I'm just chillin' like a villain watching Bubble Guppies while my Mom holds me. 

Ah... life is goooooood.

7AM: 

Time to drag out every toy we have in the living room.

7:30AM:

Got a bit bored so I grabbed the remote and started pressing buttons! This is one of my favorite games!

Mom says a rhyme about a Duck's cake... its funny.

She tells me to stop but I cant! This is my favorite game! So fun!!

8AM:

My grandpa arrives to watch me so my Mom can go to Parent/Teacher conferences.

Mom says she needs coffee, now!

11AM:

Mom gets home just in time to feed me lunch!

I am confused about everything I eat now.

After each bite I take the food out of my mouth so I can inspect it.... sometimes I eat it.

But mostly I just throw it on the floor.

12PM:

Mom packs me up to take me to the doctor. I love car rides! YAY!

1PM:

We arrive at the doctor. I vaguely remember this place.

I see books! Ah, I remember the books! I love books!

My mom tries to help me look at a book... I get mad because I just want to throw books. My big sister, Rilyn even tries to help me, too. 

No one understands me!  

I just want to hold it all to myself and turn the pages all by myself!

And throw it!

1:30 PM:

&*^%$!!!!

The dang nurse stuck something sharp in my legs!

My mom cuddles me and gives me lots of kisses. 

2:00PM:

We head home.

I am exhausted. Time to fuss a little and rub my eyes. the ole "Nap Time Signals" to my Mom.

3:00PM:

We get home and the rest of the evening is a blur of me running around the living room like a crazy baby and my Mom and Dad cuddling me.

Mom shows Dad the four little round stickers on my thighs and Dad kisses them. 

They're really sore.

9PM:

Mom lays me down for bed. We snuggle. I like to snuggle. 

10PM:

I finally give in and fall asleep.

I'm pretty sure I heard her say "Love you sweet boy".

Time for some sleep. 

Will resume my "crazy-baby" act at 

But isn't he adorable?! It's officially Fall, y'all!